Yesterday evening will forever be a memory I will cherish. My eldest son graduated from his police academy last night. As he and his classmates filed into the room packed with family and friends, I couldn’t help tearing up. I watched him walk in, straight and proud, all 6’7″ of him, and all I could think of was how he had unwaveringly been focused on this goal for years and how proud I was of him.

I still remember my son asking my husband and me to meet him for dinner at PF Changs one night 6 years ago as he had something he wanted to tell us. He had started college after high school but couldn’t seem to find his niche and had dropped out to work full time. That night over dinner he told us that he had come to realize that what he wanted to do in life was law enforcement. We were thrilled for him that he had found a focus in life and enthusiastically supported him.

From the moment my son focused on law enforcement as a goal, he never wavered. He started back at community college and the C’s and sometimes D’s that he had earned during the first go at college turned into almost straight As. He finished the two year degree then went on to complete a 4 year degree in law enforcement. At the same time, he completed volunteer posse training and gained practical experience in the next few years in an unpaid law enforcement role.

Following graduation, my son got a job as a hospital security guard but his goal was still to graduate from a police academy. I did not realize just how competitive the few police academy spots were until my son started applying. For one city he applied to there were 9 slots available and 900 applicants. He got close several times but was unable to get a slot.

About 6 months after graduation, he got accepted to a police academy program out of state that was a non-sponsored program.  This is a program that one pays for rather than having a particular city pay for the program. The advantage to this route is that smaller municipalities that might not be able to sponsor an academy slot could then hire the person following completion of the program.

Because of prior volunteer posse experience and (I think) demonstrated leadership qualities, my son was named the class sergeant which was the top leadership position in the academy class. We were of course enormously proud of him and thought the academy cadre picked exactly the right person for the job!

It was a challenging role to both be a student as well as have responsibility for managing his fellow students, however my son rose to the occasion (totally unbiased opinion here) throughout the months of training.  In wanting to set a leadership example for the other students I think that he threw himself with 100% effort into every aspect of the courses.

Last night, my son’s effort was rewarded, much to our delight.  He won the “Top Gun” award for best shooter and also won the “Big Wheel” award for best driver.  We (family and friends) cheered with enthusiasm and I again felt a lot of emotion in seeing him stride onto the stage to be recognized.  Three of his friends had flown in from out of state to be there plus a couple of local friends and I could see how thrilled my son was to be honored in front of the important people in his life.

It was a memorable night.  To see my son graduate as a culmination of a 6 year dream, felt wonderful.  The night somehow helped me to realize that though there is still pain with the choices of now two of my young adult kids, there is still also good in my life.  For the last month, I have focused only on what was awful in my life and had once again fallen into an abyss of despair.  I’m going to move forward again knowing that around the corner from heart wrenching pain can come heart felt joy.

I am also going to remember that the same God that allowed this latest pain with the choices of my younger daughter also allowed the honors that came to my eldest son.  Sorry God, I understand now.  I accept both.