Here I am beginning to blog about emotions and how to use them in a positive productive way and I have been stewing all week about my daughter.   I think that is equivalent to about a C- in the Better direction.  My husband said “Bitter to Better” to me twice this week.  I think that is code for “You could be handling your emotions better”.

My daughter visited us last week.  Out of the blue…she asked to come, flew in a day or two later and spent several days visiting with us.  She talked of wanting to mend relationships with her Dad and I.  She talked with the birth father of her baby with the implication of working through past issues and looking towards the future.  Sounds good on the surface.

On the last night, both families met at a restaurant where she saw her baby for the first time since abandoning her 6 months earlier.  Was there a bond?  My daughter was kind towards her baby but seemed emotionally distant at the same time.  The restaurant created a busy atmosphere so I don’t think there was any harm done to the baby in terms of loss again.

I have found myself since the night at the restaurant, asking what the motive was behind coming for a visit.  I think she may be pregnant again and that someone paid for a ticket for her to come out and tell us though she didn’t tell us.  She had another chance to when I asked point blank the day she left, however she said no.  That possible scenario feels like deja vu.  Didn’t we just go through this a year ago?   I think I ended up handling it OK.  I adore the baby.  Life is going on.  But seriously, do we have to go through this again?

There is a bible verse that addresses this.  I’m going to read it, post it now in this blog then go clean the kitchen floor and trust God that all will become known in time, one way or another.

“So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. “      Matthew 6:34