I have seen for years now how my daughter has run simultaneous “realities” with different people.  I put “reality” in quotes because though all of them have bits of truth in them, none of them reflect the complete truth of her actual lifestyle.

An analogy would be the game show that used to be on TV called Wheel of Fortune (unsure if it is still on). The game centered on phrases that people had to guess and they got clues by calling out letters, like the hangman game. The really good players could see the few letters showing and quickly guess the phrase.

The analogy with my daughter has to do with random facts that we know about things she has done in the last few years that must form a pattern that is unclear for now.  Fact: she went to another state last year and wrecked a rental car.  I know because a collections person representing the rental car agency contacted me recently looking for her.  I said, “Get in line”, meaning she has a lot of other creditors after her.  Fact:  She flew back to our home state at least once last year and maybe more times.  Why?  Those facts are the parts that are known but there are more facts that make up the true reality, just like the hidden phrase in the TV game show.  Friends…unlikely.  A guy…possibly.  Something worse?  Very likely.  I have my own theory about what she could have been up to and because it is a pretty big leap and a heavy accusation, I will keep it to myself for now.

I heard our pastor speak recently about being authentic and that made me think of my daughter and how she could use this one year rehab program to practice being authentic.  The three issues I see that she has are lying, stealing, and manipulative sex.  In a jail, she is not going to be allowed to steal or be around young men so those two issues she will be unable to “practice” not doing.  The third issue though she can certainly practice.  She can practice truth instead of lying.  She can shed light on not just what she was caught doing but all that she really was doing on the outside.  I imagine within the rehab program, there would be counselors that she could talk to if she wants to “come clean” with all that she was involved in.

I wrote her a letter today, before writing this blog.  This is part of what I wrote…

“What I am saying is that you have 365 days to reinvent yourself.  You could play the rehab game just like you have every other time you have been in treatment, saying what people want to hear and get out on probation in a year only to go straight back to the lying, stealing, and manipulative sex.  Or you could use every moment of every day of this year to become someone different when you come out.  The judge gave you a one year gift.  The lawyers and the judge don’t want to see you go to prison.  Though I recommended prison as a place that you might finally decide to change, I would rather see you change in a rehab setting and never go to prison.”

This could be a chrysalis year for my daughter.  I fervently hope that she will choose to see it that way and make that happen.  She has a 10 year sentence with two years served before the possibility of probation.  That sentence is set aside for now with this one year rehab program and a possibility of probation after successful completion of the rehab program.  I would love to see her emerge from this program as completely transformed as a monarch butterfly, with gorgeous color bedecked wings, able to soar into another way of living.