Blog title image is Picryl “Cartoon Girl” Public Domain is licensed under PDM 1.0 Deed.

I bought a little book for my husband a few years ago, called Make Your Bed. I highly recommend it. The author is Admiral William H. McRaven (U.S. Navy Retired) and the book is based on a commencement speech he gave some years ago to The University of Texas at Austin. The book’s cover states “little things that can change your life…and maybe the world”. The author is a former Navy SEAL commander; SEAL training is the toughest military training one can go through. My husband, himself Army Ranger trained, identified with the book and the author’s premises. I read the book as well, thought it was profound and then forgot about it.

Fast forward a few years later. My husband reread the book and thought it so pertinent to life that he gave a copy to everyone on his team at work. He also suggested that I read it again. I believe the sub context was that he thought I needed it. Sub-sub context…he was hearing too much negative view of life from me (aka pity party for one) and thought that if someone else said to “pull myself together”, I might listen better. He’s right.

I thought about it, skimmed the titles in the book, read the commencement speech at the back of the book then made a decision. I told my husband that if I was going to re-read it, he was going to have to talk through each chapter with me and he would have to bring his own lessons from it to the table, not just trying to “fix” my “life is so tough” attitude. He agreed.

We have talked through the first two chapters (Ch 1 – Start Your Day with a Task Completed and Ch2 – You can’t Go It Alone) and have to say that we have had some excellent discussion as well as some action steps from it. I am bracing for the 4th chapter which is titled, “Life’s Not Fair – Drive On!” Ouch, that will be uncomfortable to read.

This book has come at a good point in my life, as the last few blogs can attest that I have been struggling with unhealthy emotions. I can continue to say, “It’s not fair that I am going to have a daughter in prison,” when no one else I know in my life does. I can continue to go through the motions of my life in which I look like I’m busy…work, food prep, laundry, grocery shopping without actually working on my writing dreams. I know when I have stopped trying to move forward in my life; so does my husband.

From May of last year through the end of the year, I wrote only one blog; that one full of anger and grief over discovering my daughter’s scam and theft. I only just started blogging again this past January. Over the past few weeks, it is perhaps no surprise that the very act of writing about how much I am struggling is helping me to move forward. It’s my own little cathartic therapy session whenever I write a blog.

My action step from the first two chapters of the book? Do something that is significant for me. Work on finishing the book I wrote about my adopted daughters and let my husband encourage me when I lag. I was just finishing it when my daughter started to show behavioral issues. She was twelve when I set the book aside. I thought I would wait until there was a “happy ending” then I could self-publish it as an uplifting “life turned out great” book. Well, she’s 29 now, and prison is an ending, just not the ending I wanted. It’s time to finish the book and put it out there. Maybe there are other parents of prison inmates to whom I can say in the book, “I know how you feel”. We will see.

Walking to the Bright (Orange) Future – Public Domain licensed under CC1.0

In the meantime, I plan to work a little each day on this book that matters to me. My work at the university, though interesting, is not life altering to me. It’s a job that I am grateful for; good benefits, good group of people but that is all it is. The book though…if I can work on completing it then move on to other “life-meaningful” writing tasks, that will be significant to me. Oh and let’s remember the people-oriented life-meaningful activities…smile more, laugh more, hug people more, play soccer with my granddaughter when she comes over next (even though she crushes me every time), and look for opportunities to do something that makes someone else feel better.

I don’t want to waste these next four years before retirement. Now is the time to live out purpose in life and contentment with my circumstances.