I spent this afternoon moving a desk and bookcase into our downstairs bedroom. It used to be my older son’s bedroom and have wanted to turn it into an office since he moved out almost two years ago. Before I could turn it into an office however, my youngest son staked a claim on it by virtue of putting his computer in there and then leaving piles of clothes on the floor, snacks and other teenage belongings in various places to the point where the room felt more like an obstacle course than a study. The room is now freshly painted with one wall of blue-grey as my “pop” color and the other walls of a creamy white. An antique roll top desk sits in one corner against the blue wall topped with some of my apple themed collectibles that I love. All is set now for me to happily ensconce myself in a cute, cozy little nook to do business work or blog. Alas though, I am out of day so this blog must be dashed out at warp speed.

My daughter has been sentenced. That is, she accepted a plea bargain and will avoid a trial. I am relieved that the strain of waiting is over. The judge and prosecutor were extremely merciful with her considering how long she could have been sentenced with 3 felonies. The charges were dropped down to one misdemeanor and she was sentenced to a year of jail with two years probation. The year sentence was suspended except for 20 days and even that is work release …I guess one gets to keep one’s phone for this sentence as she has texted us.

I did let her know that I knew about the charges and sentencing as I was tired of waiting for her to tell me. My confrontation through texting could have gone better as my frustration came through which automatically makes her withdraw more.

The merry go round at the top of the blog refers to something I said by text to my daughter about communication with me. I said to her that my desire that she share with me about what is going on in her life is like spinning around on a merry go round. I keep thinking if I keep moving I will get to where I want to go with her in terms of connection on an emotional level but I keep ending back at the same place which is no connection. I told her that I realized I could choose to get off the merry go round and I did. I was too irritated to think about what that meant.

Shortly after that text exchange I talked with a business mentor who knows the situation with her. She suggested I communicate at the level my daughter wants…hmmm, novel thought.  I said something to the effect of, “You mean just a fly by where there is hardly any contact?” She said yes and I pondered that the rest of the week. If that is the only way to have any contact at all right now, I suppose a fly by is better than no contact at all. I tried it tonight and sent off a quick note with a picture of a beautiful sunset.