Last Fall, in my blog, I discussed three instances of “waiting”. Since then, there have been some changes. My son found another job in the city that he and his wife had hoped to move to. After a good year in an unsettled state and “waiting”, all their hopes and dreams with respect to the move were answered even more abundantly than any of us could have imagined. They are close to the big city where they wanted to locate but far enough out in the suburbs to be away from traffic and the high priced houses. They bought their first house from someone in his department (closed on it just before Christmas) and seriously…it is the “cutest house ever”. It’s a 2-level, 3-bedroom with hardwood floors and a grassy fenced backyard, just right for them and their dog…and might I hope that there could be baby news somewhere in the next year or two?

In my last blog, I also mentioned my youngest son’s health issues. He is a bit better. He cut way down on the medical supplements that I believe were key to helping him; he talked with friends and they know better. Forget science, medicine, the doctor that specializes in blood chemistry and Mom. After all, friends…especially twenty-something friends…know best.  Sigh.  He does seem to have more energy, has a job and I see him working hard to move on with his life.  Of course I want to support that.  My major challenge is that to best support him I have to pull back and let him move forward with the choices that he believes are best even if I don’t agree with all of them.

When kids are little, we make most of their decisions. When the kids are adults, part of life is making their own decisions, some of which end up being mistakes. They learn from them while we parents stand nervously to one side and hope (with lots of prayer) that the mistakes are small ones.

The third instance of “waiting” was ours and our business. What we were waiting for has not come about. In fact, as I look down the road as far as I can see in the future, there appears to be no possibility of this change. I have comforted myself that if there was only one “answer your prayer above and beyond all that you ask” prayer left for the end of 2019, I am glad my son and his wife got it. They absolutely deserve it and I have loved seeing their giddy happiness between the house and the job. I’m giddy for them.

In the last 6 months, I have pursued some other business avenues. I had been thinking that I might move into some business consulting either part time along-side the business or full time and let my husband run the daily operations of our current business. I’m pretty sure though that God solidly shut that door about 10 days ago. I was praying about the consulting decision and then in the end, I did not have a decision to make as the opportunity disappeared. It was a shock to have that door close as I had worked on some materials for months, in preparation for that direction. What I realized though looking back is that while pursuing the “consulting” (which in my mind was “real” work), I subconsciously dropped the priority of blogging and writing my book. I didn’t plan to stop, it’s just that my weekend time got wrapped around the business writing.

Last week, I tried a “plan B” (or is it plan C?) and applied for a position at a company that is a favorite client. Again, my husband would run daily operations at our business while I pursued this direction. Since we will not have this business forever, there is some logic in taking this step, however I’m quite sure that God will only open that door if it fits with His overall plan. Right now, He is the only one that sees whether there is a fit.

I had lunch with a friend of mine yesterday and talked about the situation. Everyone needs a friend who can both encourage and also give a slap when needed…metaphorically of course. She helped me verbalize what had been simmering just below the surface of my consciousness; that I needed to get back to what my passion was. What drives me is the longing to connect my heart to whoever is reading my words. My hope is always that as I write about my “fall short of my lofty ideals” struggles and about my imperfect quest to become “better” instead of “bitter”, I can encourage others to keep trying when life is hard or there are long waiting periods.

The culmination of this blog is thus the theme of “growing up”. When I grow up and figure out my life, I want to be a writer. I want to someday blog and write books full time that point people to hope. Despite the really tough bumps and potholes in the road of life, there are also colorful, fragrant flowers alongside the road just waiting to revive the tired traveler, cool streams to refresh tired feet and best of all, wonderful friends to share the journey with.

Psalm 23: 1-3
The LORD is my shepherd,
I shall not want.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside quiet waters.
3 He restores my soul;
He guides me in the paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake.