I have been in God’s waiting room with our business and I don’t know how much longer I will be there. My oldest son is waiting for a job to be able to move to a different state. My youngest son is waiting also for improved health. In all of these circumstances, it’s hard to say which is the most stressful position. Each of us sympathize for the others but most acutely feel our own long, uncomfortable tunnel of waiting.
I want to wait faithfully for God’s timing however I can relate to the woman sitting by the window in the picture. If I just sit down long enough, I can somehow bring the waiting to an end. I know intellectually that I am unable to change the timing but my wistful hope fools me into thinking that I can.
I found a cute picture of a bulldog waiting by the door, probably waiting for a loved master to come home. The bird is waiting momentarily on the branch, perhaps to fly off in a moment or two. In spring, trees and shrubs wait to bring forth summer blooms. All of the inhabitants of the earth wait at one time or another however I think we humans are the only ones who agonize over the length of the wait and long for the wait to be over.
My oldest son was so close to getting a job he wanted; he thought he had the job nailed down and then towards the end of the process, found that he did not have it after all. He has “pulled in” and does not call much; he is a newlywed and wants to figure this out on his own. I wish that I could help; I wish I could shorten that wait or advise him as to the next best step but he has to figure that out on his own. Fortunately, he absolutely loves his current job; he is trying to move because he and his wife have wanted to live in a certain city for the outdoor activities and to be closer to family. Hard decisions.
My youngest son is in limbo in his life right now with crippling anxiety. He has moved home and though I have strong hope that a certain medical clinic that specializes in adjusting blood chemistry will ultimately help him, it is slow going. It breaks my heart to see him struggle but the only thing I know to do is to give him a safe, quiet home environment until he feels better. He has withdrawn too; I can hardly get five words out of him.
I know that I have withdrawn into myself as well which is why I have not blogged lately. I want to avoid just whining that life is difficult. God is still in control. I tell myself that no matter what, He is. These little difficulties are just tiny little blips in the path that is each of our lives.
I will keep waiting until the business situation is resolved; until my oldest son’s job situation is resolved; until my son feels better. Once all of those issues are resolved, I’m sure there will be something else that I will be waiting on. That’s life. I should take a lesson from flowers that bloom at just the right time without worrying about how long it is taking.
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