I have come to realize that some of my behavior has resembled that of a tortoise; metaphorically of course.  Like many things in life, I have only realized that in looking back over the last few months.  I was the tortoise traveling down the dusty road of life when last Fall, I hit rough going with our business.  Instead of keeping my head out and continuing despite the obstacles, I pulled my head into my shell.  I focused just on work and let special events go by…meaning to but not following through with birthday wishes and gifts to young relatives to mark the special days.  It’s not that I made a decision last Fall to just ignore the special days but when I put action off for a days then weeks then months, I got stuck.

About a month ago, I talked with my business coach (who is also my brother-in-law) about the realization that I had emotionally pulled in and not done things that I had planned to do.  He told me the story of Grandma’s letter.  The truth in the story coincides with pulling one’s head into a tortoise shell and staying there.

The hypothetical story revolves around your mother asking you to write a letter to Grandma while you are at camp.  You say yes and go off to camp.  You mean to. You have every intention of doing that right away.  The first day is busy and you don’t get to it.  That’s fine, tomorrow you will do it, for sure.  Well that day flies by too; so does the next and the next.  Finally, the last day of camp comes.  You really truly are going to get that letter written now.  As you sit down to do so, a friend comes by; you go off to the last campfire of camp and forget all about it until you get home and your mother asks you.  “I’m sorry, I meant to, but I didn’t” you say, feeling guilty.  “Well, just write it now and she will still be happy to receive it.” your mom replies.  Feeling some relief that you still can, you run off to play.  A week goes by though and you don’t.  “I will do it” you promise yourself, but weeks go by with you feeling worse until you get to the point where you are so embarrassed, you are paralyzed.

I discovered that pulling my head into my shell over a span of several months created a ‘Grandma’s Letter” scenario.  Feeling terrible about missing 5 birthdays of young relatives, I had to ask myself what was worse; continue to feel like I let them down and do nothing or just face the embarrassment and ask forgiveness.

Since paralyzed procrastination felt terrible, I decided that facing the embarrassment was the better choice.  I made a list of everything I had put off doing and then one by one, did the best I could to make it right.  A necklace for my young niece who had turned 21, gift cards for my niece and nephew (twins) and the cutest outfits I could find for my two granddaughters-of-my-heart.  Along with sending the gifts, I asked for forgiveness for my pulled in tortoise shell behavior.

I’m so glad to have faced the embarrassment.  Thank you to those reading this for forgiving me…that is what I am most grateful for.  I wish I could say categorically that I will never again pull my head into my shell when things get rough.  Being merely mortal though, I will likely slip again at some future point, however I hope that the “tortoise time” is of a short duration.