In last week’s blog, I alluded to the fact that I discovered that my elder daughter had another baby girl.  I would like to write a tribute to this little girl who has come into the world even if there is a good chance that I will know little or nothing of her as she grows.  I found out her name and although I will not spell it out here, I will call her Baby A.

Baby A was born last November.  Eight days after her birth, a couple of mysterious “no tag” baby pictures were posted on the former fiancé’s Facebook page, with eyes clearly appearing to be that of an Asian baby girl.  A short time later the pictures disappeared, and the FB page became closed off but I had already saved those pictures to my computer.  That, along with the fact that my daughter had blocked us from her FB account indicated to us that there was likely something she didn’t want us to see.

Not telling me about being pregnant is a pattern with my daughter.  With the oldest daughter, I found out that my daughter was expecting about 5 weeks before delivery.  Even then, she met me for lunch at 7 ½ months pregnant, after avoiding me all summer, and was clearly not going to tell me until I directly challenged her with the question.

With the second baby, my daughter told me about the birth about 5 months after delivering her.  We had visited my daughter 3 months after that birth for her 21^st birthday and she had not said anything.  When she did tell me by phone that she had baby #2, she did not tell me that she was already pregnant with baby #3…she told me that Fall, a couple of months before delivering.

Then there is the “maybe baby #4” in jail when she told me shortly before she would have delivered that she miscarried though we had been talking all summer through phone calls about her baby plans.  To this day, I don’t know whether that was the truth or whether she didn’t want me to know where the baby was placed.  With Baby A now, only God knows whether Baby A is baby #4 or baby #5.

My philosophy is that in God’s timing, I tend to find out things.  A few weeks ago, just days before leaving for my son’s wedding, I did some Google searching and found out conclusively about little Baby A who must now be almost 9 months old.  I did not say anything at the wedding as I wanted the attention to be on the bride and groom.

I have no idea whether my daughter is raising this baby.  The picture I saw of my daughter holding Baby A at 6 months old was tagged with the name and age of the baby, that’s how I know her name.  I have looked at the picture a number of times and I wonder if my daughter is raising her.  Maybe I am reading too much into the picture but Baby A has the “big-eyes with arms and legs stiffly out” look of a baby that is being held by a stranger…or maybe the baby had been asleep and was startled out of sleep to pose for the picture with her two other “girl cousins” (on the boyfriend side of the family).  By the way, in the picture, Baby A looked remarkably like her half-sisters did at that age.

So…the former fiancé and my daughter got back together and got pregnant within 5 or 6 weeks of her getting out of jail.  This little girl is now here…not her fault that she was brought into the world with no planning.  I wish her and my daughter well if my daughter is raising her.

To be honest though, I hope that a loving couple has adopted her and that the reason a picture of my daughter was taken holding the baby was because it is some form of open adoption.  I believe a couple would be better able to provide stability to Baby A’s life and also deal with the likely health issues.  Also, I cannot help but feel it would be easier for my daughter’s oldest daughter (our granddaughter that lives close to us) to process my daughter’s abandonment of her 7 weeks after birth if my daughter also gave up all subsequent babies.  How would our granddaughter handle the knowledge that our daughter left her but later raised another daughter?  That’s a tough question to answer as our granddaughter already struggles with the knowledge that other kids “have mommies” and she doesn’t.

All babies are precious in the sight of God.  God knits together each baby in the womb and He has a plan for this little one too.  Baby A deserves love, care, hugs and kisses on “boo-boos”.  She deserves to know that there is another side of the family that does care about her and would welcome her.  Baby A also deserves to know someday that there are at least 3 other half-sisters out there.  Someday I may find out more, then again, I may not.

To Baby A…may you grow up with the knowledge that you are loved by your Heavenly Father as well as by people down on earth.  I pray that you are cared for and nurtured as you go through life, whether from my daughter or by another couple that God sends your way.

13For you created my inmost being;

you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

14I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

your works are wonderful,

I know that full well.

15My frame was not hidden from you

when I was made in the secret place,

when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.

16Your eyes saw my unformed body;

all the days ordained for me were written in your book

before one of them came to be.

                                                  Psalm 139: 13-16