This week has been a sobering week. There have been 3 events on my mind this week in which families have been grieving over the loss of loved ones.  In one instance, the event happened close to us geographically and there were also two other deaths where I knew the families personally.

The first event took place this past Monday night and was a fiery crash about a mile from our studio; a small plane went down after takeoff, killing all 6 people on board.  They were all in their 20’s and the three young women on the plane were all in their early 20’s, just a year or two older than my younger daughter.  The news feed on the crash is leaning towards the cause of the crash from too many people onboard, thus too much weight.

In the second instance, it’s a couple that we have known for many years from church.  The husband passed away recently after an illness and we went to the memorial service yesterday.  The widow is going to miss her husband/best friend terribly, but his life was well lived and we all know that he is in heaven now.

The last event that happened earlier this week is as tragic as the first event I mentioned.  One of the families that went to China with us when we picked up my younger daughter, lost their daughter this week in an apartment fire.  They had two adopted daughters from China; their younger daughter is the one that this family picked up when we got my daughter.  A couple of years after arriving in the States, my daughter and I flew to their house and we spent several days with them.  The two girls, both about 4 then, had a great time playing “dress-up”.  That daughter is fine, it’s the other daughter, age 24, adopted from China at age 7, who died from smoke inhalation from the fire.  Her mom wrote poignantly on FB about not being able to touch or hug her as she was growing up like she was able to with her other children.  She was able to now stroke her daughter’s cheek, who at the time of the FB post, was laying in the hospital on life support until arrangements could be made for organ donation.  So heart-breaking and hit close to my own heart as my daughter rarely let me hug her when growing up.

All of that made me think of my younger daughter this week.  The young twenty-something occupants in the plane crash were apparently just flying off for a lark somewhere.  Not that my daughter fills me in on her social calendar but from passing comments from her on the rare times we see her, I know she takes out of town trips with her friends.  She shares an apartment with friends.  That it could have been her in a fatal accident, haunts me.

No one ever knows how much time they have on this earth.  I wrote a note to my daughter earlier today which I am going to leave on our kitchen counter for the next time she comes by to make something to eat between hostess shifts.  In the note, I let her know that if she ever wants to build a closer relationship, I would 100% be willing to do so but in the meantime I would be living the best “me” that I can.  I want her to know that I understand I can control only my life and that she is in control of hers.

I think she will read the note and then leave it on the counter.  Perhaps over time, if I occasionally let her know I’m still here, she will eventually be willing to take a step toward bridging the gap between us.  In the meantime, I can pray for her and for us.