Our granddaughter spends the night at our house every couple of weeks.  We have a loveseat cushion that is just the right size for an almost 4-year-old and we made it into a little bed on the floor of the room next to ours.  Because there is a double bed in the room as well, her little bed is located on the floor next to the closet doors.

A couple of times previously, our granddaughter has mentioned monsters in the closet.  Each time we gave a direct (but unimaginative), “There are no monsters in the closet.” reply and she seemed fine with the answer.  A few months ago, we cleaned out and painted the inside of that closet.  She may have been bothered by the fact that there used to be quite a bit of “stuff” on the closet floor because the closet shelf was beginning to pull out of the wall and we were trying to take weight off the shelf.  After fixing the shelf, we kept the original contents of the closet in a different room, so the closet is now empty and non-threatening.

I have been thinking of the “monster in the closet” analogy this weekend with respect to fear.  I have an endoscopy scheduled for tomorrow to check out a strange feeling of pressure at the bottom of my esophagus.  In all likelihood, it’s just some irritation left from some reflux that I used to have but there is a part of my mind where fear lurks like a monster in the closet.  What if, what if, what if?

My twin just this week had a tiny “level zero” spot of malignant melanoma removed from the back of her leg…98% cure rate but still alarming.  A business colleague is facing a grim cancer diagnosis with the statistics pointing the wrong direction.  Things happen sometimes that are outside of our control.  At any point in time, any of us can be challenged with what to do with the fear of what could happen in the future.

Nine years ago this December, I had the first of three colon surgeries for a pre-cancerous colon polyp.  The pain following the second (emergency) surgery three days later (following peritonitis from the first), broke me.  I don’t ever want to go back into that kind of pain and yet there is the fear of having to walk through something similar lurking in the back of my mind like a monster in the closet.  What if the monster is real?  What if it’s big and scary?  What if I can’t handle what is behind the door?

As a Christian, I know that the answer to my fear must be scripture.  I need to rest in promises that I know are true, that I know I can always count on even when the rest of life is uncertain.

Romans 8:38-39 New International Version (NIV)

38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[a] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.