I wrote this a couple of weeks ago…

It’s March. Signs of Spring are wafting in on warm breezes, are seen in early flowers blooming in pastel shades in the increasingly warmer days and are heard in the chirping of birds busily building nests in preparation for arriving broods…and my daughter is on the run. Not as in “running to the store” or “running off to go shopping with her friends” but running from the law and officially has been for several weeks now. Her trial for credit card fraud was supposed to start two weeks ago, however when she failed to show for the pretrial hearing, the court wisely decided not to waste taxpayer money by keeping a trial date for an absent defendant, cancelled the trial and put a “no bond” warrant out for her arrest.

A fugitive recovery company called me shortly after she broke bail…or is the proper term “skipped bail”? The ex boyfriend/father of her second two girls is apparently looking for her as it was his $1,000 he put up for her and now he is liable for the full $10K. I’m guessing that the bail company knows that if the young man is unable to pay, they are on the hook to pay the court, thus the fugitive recovery company. A server for court papers called me as well, whether for this case or for another case I am clueless. Each time I have been contacted, I have given what help I can however I could give very little in the way of facts or possible location.

Through all this activity of looking for her, my daughter is still walking free; free to wreak havoc in the lives and finances of some other unsuspecting victims. How many more lives will be harmed before she is stopped? My daughter looks sweet, trustworthy and completely believable. She has this vulnerable persona that makes one want to hug, help and protect her from the heartless world. Even when little doubts start creeping in, the mind wants to find an explanation other than pathological lying, theft and fraud.

The last time I saw her in January, when she gave up her third baby for adoption, I spent some very “normal” time with her. We hung out in the hotel room and talked, I took her shopping, we went to lunch. I had a surreal feeling that though we looked like we were just another mother and grown daughter spending some quality time together, under the surface the reality was so different. I wondered when I would see her again and whether the next time I saw her she would be in the visiting room of a prison. At the time I thought she would show up for her trial. What was I thinking?

Now I wonder how long she will be running…weeks, months, years? I have texted her advising her to turn herself in. No reply to that, no surprise there.

For the record, I am on the side of the victims, of justice and of facing the consequences of her actions. Would I as her mother turn her in? Absolutely. Will I cry the day she is sentenced to prison? Absolutely.

In the meantime I work with my husband in our business. We are short staffed right now so many evenings we are both finishing up emails and quotes at midnight so I sleep well though not enough. Most of my brain concentrates on going about the normal activities of life. There is a part of my consciousness that is waiting though…a bit in limbo…until she is caught. I wonder how I will feel when I find out. I wonder.