Tomorrow, the day after Labor Day, may be a day my daughter remembers forever as the day her life painfully, irretrievably altered. Or not. My daughter has a court date tomorrow. As this is her third court case, I expect that the consequences this time could be severe. On the other hand, she has been dealt with mercifully so far and may be given one more chance to turn from her current path. This state does not have a “three strikes you’re out” policy and so could go either way.

Almost a year ago to the day, my daughter committed some crimes that ultimately resulted in her (finally) being charged for the first time…3 felonies including grand theft (I believe a computer) and stolen credit card information. I only knew about it because someone called me to let me know. In October she was booked and had her first ever mugshot taken. I described her bewildered, somewhat lost look in a prior blog. https://bitter2better.com/2014/10/when-a-fall-is-beyond-band-aids-and-kisses-part-2/

Ultimately, when the court case was settled, she had pled guilty under an extremely merciful plea bargain. The 3 felony charges were dropped to one misdemeanor charge and she received a suspended one year jail sentence with the exception of 20 days served in work release. Work release is apparently across from the jail where the inmates live in a dorm setting, get 3 meals a day and get out to go to work. Not too scary however for someone who wants to heed the “wakeup call”, it could be sufficient warning.

Case number two dated back to something she stole last Fall, however she was only booked for the charge this past March. Her mugshot this time looked more deadpan than woeful. I found out by accident in June when my older son said to my younger daughter, “Have you ever seen your sister’s mugshot?” They googled her and lo and behold, there was second mugshot.

Her dad and I flew to see her in April to celebrate (as best we could) her 21st birthday. She could have told us about court case #2 or baby #2 born in January but she chose to keep that secret. She pled guilty in a plea bargain in mid-June and was sentenced to 6 months suspended sentence with 20 days served in actual jail this time.

One would think that being arrested in March with a second court case and consequent future sentence would keep her from stealing again, but no. Less than two weeks after visiting her in late April, she stole again…4 felony counts including grand theft and credit card fraud, déjà vu to the first court case. This time booked in early July (possibly during the 20 day jail stint). Again, she didn’t say anything about it and only know because a family member googled her name…pretty easy to find out details if you know where she lives. This last mugshot, less than 9 months after the first one, has the hardened look of someone who has done jail time and isn’t fazed by the booking process.

When my daughter was first charged last Fall, I thought at first I should go be in court when she was sentenced. I had a melodramatic scene play out in my mind…I would be there, mouthing, “I love you” as she was led off to jail in handcuffs. She would understand, repent of her actions and turn away from her compulsive thievery and all would be well.

I ended up deciding to stay back, however my heart was there. On the day of the court sentencing, I walked into our business in tears. My older son who works in the business with us came over and gave me a hug. In his logical, black and white manner he then told me to “get over it” that she deserved what she got. I knew he was right though got some extra hugs from my husband as well.

I needn’t have worried, in that first case the prosecutors saw a pregnant, young vulnerable girl who was probably just frightened at finding herself in a tough situation and panicked. The second court case was a theft back in the timeframe of the first and so I understand that again she was shown mercy.

This third court case though? Felony theft while the second case is still pending? That is a trend that is going to continue until she gets some serious jail time. Do I want her to have a felony charge on her record? No. Does she deserve it? Absolutely. Might a full year jail sentence at a misdemeanor level be enough to turn her? Small chance but maybe.

I picture a two year old who keeps pushing a boundary. “Please change your behavior little one or you will get a time out”. The toddler does it again. “Now, please stop this or you will get a very long time out”. Toddler does it again. The toddler is begging for the time out. Give the toddler the time out!

Give my daughter the time out she is asking for. The kind with a square cell and bars. She is going to keep on this path until she gets it.