This week I learned about different communication styles and have been fascinated by the concept.  There are 4 different categories of this grouping.  Two subgroups of people are “asking styles” and will ask questions to help them understand.  Two other subgroups of people are “telling styles” who will talk TO you to help YOU understand.

I’m an “asking style” and I like detail.  Lots of detail.  My husband is a telling style so he is willing to talk to an extent.  The difference between us is that I want to ask about far more details than my husband can often tell me about something.  We used to joke that I gave him a lot of practice for having kids because I constantly want to know details.  It’s not that he is always the best repository of information but he tends to be the one in my vicinity, so he gets the questions.  Now with smart phones, I do ask Google a lot as well.

I tend to assume that everyone wants to know as much detail as I do so I offer the detail abundantly during conversations.  More than once over the years I have launched into a long explanation of something to one of my kids only to have my husband say, “He just wanted a yes or a no answer.”  Whoops.  Now with no kids living at home, I have caught myself doing that with clients, either by email or in person.  Sometimes less is better but I have a hard time remembering that.

I have been thinking about which of my kids never liked being told directly what to do but would respond better if I asked their opinion on a subject…definitely the telling styles for them.

I’m going to think about this subject with some of my client interactions.  There are times when I need to talk less and listen more.  Hmmm.  Kind of a challenge for me to refrain from giving detail to those clients with a telling style.

That brings me to my computer and why I like the written word.  I can craft my sentences any way I choose. When I write, my laptop lets me sail off into as much detail as my heart desires.  If I stop and think about what I want to write, my laptop waits patiently, screen dark, until I start writing again.  Best of all, my laptop never ever reproaches me for taking too long to get to the point.

Yes, I am giving my inanimate laptop a little too much personality here but it’s knowingly in fun.  Maybe I should give writing credit to my comfy striped recliner too as my blogs are generally written while in it.  And my red coffee cup…and my green cold drink cup both help me write too…or is that too much detail.  I will have to work on that.